Kannst du nicht reden, ohne zu schreien?

One of the great things about spending quality time in a foreign land is that it brings all of our American quirks into sharp relief. For example, many of the American's perceived rudeness to Europeans is our enlarged sense of space, especially in the personal sense. Germans, for example, will come closer to you in an effort to hear you better, which when not expected is a bit strange for an American. Why are you gettin' so close man?!?! I overexaggerate a bit, but then again, dinner with my American friends here showed me another side of things.

Nine of us sat down in a Turkish restaurant to grab some döner and send off a friend of ours who was returning to the States yesterday. Everyone's having a good time talking and joking, until my concentration starts to wander (quite a normal occurance) and I notice that the sound of our voices is reflecting around the diminutive dining room, at least twice as loud as any other table's. All of a sudden, our laughs sound rude and raucous to me, when in the States it would be normal for young 19-20 somethings. I can see the peeved gazes of other guests, especially the older German crowd, staring us down and silently condemning our rudeness.

Again, I exaggerate a bit. German kids also get real loud, just like American ones. Talking loudly with your friends while enjoying beers outside a cafe is well-tolerated here. But once indoors, Americans seek to preserve their sense of personal space by sitting back from the table and yelling across it. Germans (in general) keep things within earshot of only their friends and let other guests enjoy their conversations without having to compete.

Another good example is public transportation- in Europe, you definitely may end up standing in a tight crowd on a given bus ride, or seated next to someone you don't know on a long train, or seated on the floor of a packed rush-hour train with others all around. About the only thing Americans ever experience close to this is on flights. There are many reasons why we in States love our cars, but I would suspect that a small part of that is our desire not to have to put up with other's music, smells, activity, or mere presence when we're traveling. In order to get around cheaply in Europe, you've got to give some personal space to let everyone ride the bus- that's why when Germans are at home or hanging out, they build a quieter, private space of their own for friends and family through quiet conversation.

Now, those of you who know me know that I can be as loud as any American. And there are exceptions over here- Spanish women can raise a racket when they want to. But at the risk of sounding like some old fart, I think it would be great if Americans quieted down, got over themselves and learned to live with each other's presence. Maybe then we'd learn to tolerate each other better, and actually get to know our friends. That couple holding hands and kissing each other's necks on the bus is not gonna kill you. And that dude's piercings and long hair make him happy, so why not let him have his way when he lets you have yours? And have you ever noticed that when Americans are inside in large groups, the din is almost unreal, as if we're competing for soundspace?

Ok, I'm done. But think about it.